One of the questions I am asked the most is....how has my life changed since getting Eli? How has the adjustment been for me? I've been pondering this question a lot and you would think that the answer would be very easy for me, but surprisingly it's not. My life has changed but I can't pinpoint exactly how, it that makes sense. I can't just run into Starbuck's and grab my coffee but that is a minor adjustment. I sleep more now than I did before Eli came home. The big change is I have someone else to think about everytime I make a decision. But even that doesn't seem to be a big deal to me necessarily. This post probably isn't making any sense but these are just the thoughts in my head.
Eli loves to ride in the car and in his stroller. He loves being with people. Yet, he also loves being home playing with his toys. He sleeps in the car and he sleeps in his crib so I have a really great son who has adjusted very well. We haven't come across any major road blocks so far in our parenting journey...however, I do know they will come. Eli is incredibly intelligent, he understands things that I wouldn't think he would. That's really bad for him because he gets away with zero. Some say I am a little to hard on him at times but I can't justify underestimating a baby's intelligence because he's 16 months old. He knows what I am saying to him, it just becomes a matter of is he going to listen.
I am tired, it's a non-stop deal. We go from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed. If we are at home we are wrestling in the floor, playing trucks, or playing on the human jungle gym (which is me). Sometimes we stop long enough to drink some "juice" or "eat" and occasionally a diaper change. My housework and "wifely duties" usually come once he and Matt are in bed and all is quiet. Which is fine with me...at the end of my life I would rather say I was a good mom to Eli than I kept a spotless house. Please don't get me wrong my house not disgusting and filfthy and the laundry isn't running over but I don't forgo time with Eli to make sure that the house is spotless at all times. I believe I have found a good balance where everyone in the houses is happy.
At times I think I am too hard on myself, that I have too high of expectations on myself. He has only been home almost two months and I think that everything should be perfect. When in reality we are still figuring out this whole parenting thing. I still have zero patience for loud, out of control children in public, I would have thought that I would have become a little more understanding but I haven't. If anything I have become less tolerant. All the while, I know it's just a matter of time before it's my child having a meltdown in public. My prayer is that I am that mom that immediately takes her child to the car and deals with it appropriately. Only time will tell when it comes to what kind of mother I will be. Until then I am taking one day at a time and seeing what works.
